Never Once

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

With tears in my eyes, I think about my past four years at Ouachita Baptist University... During my first semester, I questioned whether it was really God's will for me to be here. By my second semester, I couldn't have imagined being anywhere else. It has been a long road and I have worked very hard to get to this point. Graduation is upon us and my heart is full of bittersweet emotion. There are questions... Will I remain close with my friends? Will I see them often.. or ever? Am I really prepared to face "life after Ouachita"? Will I miss school? Have I made the most of my time here? Etc, etc. But beyond all of those questions, I look back at how far I've come and without hesitation I can claim that my God has been faithful. I have never walked alone... He was there when I wanted to go home, when people let me down, and when I almost gave up my math major. And He was also there when I passed each class, when I received scholarships, and when Adam and I were engaged. These lists goes on and on. He has been faithful through the hard times and through the good, through my tears and my victories... My God is faithful. Never once did I ever walk alone.

Officially Employed

I received a phone call several weeks ago on a Thursday night. The principal at Ouachita High School asked if he presented my name to the School Board and they approved my employment, would I accept a position there? I had thought about my interview and the possibility of teaching at his school for a couple of weeks by then and so I quickly told him yes! He reminded me, "It's not over until it's over" and said that he would call the following day to let me know how the Board meeting went. On Friday morning, I received official word that I had been accepted for employment as a Math teacher at Ouachita High School. What an incredible blessing!!! Praise the Lord!

I've been waiting to blog or say anything publicly about this blessing from the Lord until I received my contract. It came in the mail yesterday, so all I have to do is sign and send it back!

Ouachita High School has 7th-12th grades. My position will most likely be 7th and 8th grade Math and Algebra 1. Now... God knew what He was doing, but as usual, I was clueless. For the majority of my college career, I would have told you that I absolutely did not want to deal with middle school-ers, that it was too much drama, and that my place was definitely with 9th-12th graders. Then God gives me this job! And I was thrilled and thankful without a doubt, but I didn't realize just how good He was being until just this week...

My second rotation of student teaching is at Goza Middle School. I work in an 8th grade math classroom and I have grown to LOVE middle school! Who knew?! Clearly, God did. Yesterday, I stood in a room full of 8th graders (students that I would have tried to avoid a month ago) and thought "I'm so glad that I'm here. I truly can't imagine being anywhere else." Thank you, God!!! He is so good. He always knows what's best.

Easter Sunday

He is risen. He is risen indeed!

Is there anything else to say? What an incredible day. Our pastor this morning spoke on "The Road to Emmaus." How heavy their grief must have been as the two walked home that day... Similar to going home from a funeral of someone you love. The void in your heart, the heaviness, the hopelessness...

I watched a documentary recently where the commentator shared a childhood story. His mother had revealed to him that Superman wasn't real and he immediately broke into tears. He cried for days. His mother assumed that he was upset in the same way that a child is upset when learning that Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny isn't real... But the commentator explained that, in actuality, he was upset because he was afraid. He grieved the realization that if someone wanted to hurt you... if someone backed you in a corner, Superman could not come save you. In his eyes, if Superman didn't exist, then there was no one powerful enough to protect him. I imagine that this could have been how the people felt the day Jesus died. He was the only one who seemed powerful enough to save them and to protect them... But then He was dead.

I am so thankful that the story doesn't end there. Jesus arose from the grave. Much to the surprise of the people, He was ALIVE! He was walking and talking with them. Can you imagine Cleopas trying to tell that story later? "What do you mean you didn't recognize that He was Jesus?" "Wait, He just disappeared?" "You didn't ask Him when He's coming back?" Haha. I'm sure the questions were endless, but they didn't really matter. What did matter was that Jesus was alive.

And Jesus is alive today! Hallelujah, what a Savior!

Observations

As part of my student teaching, I am observed 4 times by one of my OBU professors and 4 times by my Cooperating Teachers (2 from each). This is a total of 8 times over the course of this semester that someone watches me teach and fills out a detailed "observation form." Although intimidating to know that someone is watching my every move for a whole class period, these observations have been very positive experiences for me. My OBU professor has been extremely encouraging and supportive. She provides criticism only when it is constructive and she quickly follows it by praise for something I've done well. During our meetings, she has consistently asked how she can pray for me or if there's anything she can do for me. What a blessing!!! When we finish, I not only feel more equipped as a teacher but also refreshed as a person.

Today was no exception. I taught all day and Mrs. Pool observed me during my last class of the day. She encouraged me that my math skills are strong and that my activities planned today were effective. But we also talked about being more patient with "wait time" and making more of an effort to bring in EVERY student to participate... Now they're 8th graders. Let's be honest, some of them don't want to be brought in! Haha. But as a teacher, it is my responsibility to reach out to every single one of them. Some of those that you think don't want to be brought in are the ones who need it the most!

As a side note, I LOVE teaching. It can be hard... It's exhausting... It can be frustrating and sometimes repetitive. But I am so thankful that God saw fit to call me here. I am growing as a Christian and as a teacher. He always knows best... Even when I doubted Him. Thank you, Lord, for preparing me and equipping me.

P.S. Feel free to remind me of all this when I'm freaking out during my first year of teaching ;)

A Day In the Life

I recently read an article in Real Simple that got me thinking about how I spend my time... It's sort of challenging to think about how I really spend the hours of my day, but it's also been very telling about how I define myself, how I define success, and how I want my life to look. This semester has been very different for me. I expected student teaching to eat my life and my free time. For some of my peers, I think it has. But for whatever reason, it's been relatively easy for me - as far as my time goes, that is. I've had my challenges, I promise. But what that means is that I've had some days with large amounts of free time. I'm thankful for it and of course I use much of it to plan for the wedding or to spend time with Adam, but I've found that it's sometimes hard for me to relax alone. I sometimes feel guilty for the extra time that I have.

I recently heard a speaker say these words, "You are not a victim to your schedule; you are only as busy as you choose to be." I found this statement so freeing. We all have things that tend to take more of our time than we really want to give (especially in ministry or education). These things can cause us to feel like "victims," but there is also an element of choice that we should identify and be honest with ourselves about what we really want in life. What's the main goal?

For example... Does it take a lot of work to plan a wedding? Yes. Are there days when I'm tired of it? Yes. But the element of choice is that I want our wedding to be nice. We've planned what I hope will be an elegant and enjoyable evening for everyone and it's important to me that things are done well. Another element of choice is that our main goal for the wedding day is simply that we're married at the end of the night! So if there are details that get overlooked, so be it. That's my choice.

Anyways, I'm sorry if I'm rambling. I used the tool on realsimple.com to create a pie chart of how I spend my time. Personally, most of my days look very different, but I chose a typical Wednesday. Now their labels are not perfect ... For instance in my pie chart, volunteering = leadership meeting + working Wednesday night youth. Chilling = time spent with my fiance'. Obviously there are other differences, but you get the idea. It's really good to think through what's important in my life and how I'm using the time I'm given to glorify (or not glorify :/) the Father.

Wednesday's Pie Chart: This is my personal pie chart and there's also a link at the bottom of that page where you can build your own. Let me know what you think!

Student Teaching: 2nd Rotation

Last week was a bit of a whirlwind for me, yet it seemed to pass very slowly... I spent Monday and Tuesday in class at OBU. On Wednesday, I completed my rotation at the high school and, on Thursday, I began my second rotation of student teaching at Goza Middle School! Never a dull moment :)

Leaving the high school was bittersweet... This transition marks the "half-way" point for this semester. Graduation is quickly approaching and it's exciting to be this close to such an accomplishment! But it was also sad to leave my Cooperating Teacher from the high school as well as the many students I taught during my time there. Change can be difficult.

I will be working in an 8th grade math classroom for the remainder of the semester. We teach 4 classes that last 1 hour and 20 minutes each... This seems SO long compared to the 45 minute periods that I grew accustomed to at the high school! On my first day, the students were testing all morning, so my first day wasn't exactly "normal," if there ever is such a thing as normal in the educational environment!. Standardized testing is one of the thorns that come with education. They are seemingly a necessary evil in today's world, but I wish that there was better way to create accountability among teachers and students. (Let me know if you come up with something... I'm sure we could become quite famous and successful with such an idea!)

I finally met all of the students on Friday and we are settling in well with each other. I taught during both the 3rd and 4th classes today and I really enjoyed it! As much as I've struggled with the decision about whether to teach or not, days like today assure me that this is where I want to be.

Weekend Wonders

On Friday afternoon, Adam and I drove to El Dorado. If you didn't know this about me and Adam, we enjoy the car. We've found it's one of the only places we can have a private conversation while we're on campus and so we often make the loop around Arkadelphia, just to give us a chance to talk! Adam also asked me out in the car, we shared our first kiss in the car, and Adam even ended up proposing in the car :) So needless to say, we enjoyed the drive!

When we arrived, we met up with his family and attended the Bebo Norman and Point of Grace concert... I listened to the concert... Adam talked to his little brother through the whole thing! (It's okay, they needed some bro time.)

Leigh, Shelley, and Denise
Point of Grace

I love Point of Grace. Before my sister and I made it to high school, we were not allowed to listen to "non-Christian" music, so we were obsessed with Point of Grace and other popular Christian artists. I enjoyed the concert and the acoustics were awesome! When the group sang "Circle of Friends," I flash-backed to being a 4th grader... Swimming in a hotel pool with 4 of my very closest friends, listening to this same song, and promising each other that we'd always be a "Circle of Friends." We were at that hotel because two of us didn't make the deadline to go to church camp. We refused to go without each other and so "hotel camp" was born. God bless Mrs. Sharon and our wonderful Moms who took care of us and made sure we had an awesome time that week! Since then, we've grown up and gone our separate ways, but we will always share very special memories of the time we spent together.

And to top our weekend off, we spent most of the day Saturday with this little guy... :)

Adam's nephew, Jody