Arthur Benjamin & Inspiring Math

 

There are many things that I find difficult about teaching, but two of them are planning for a substitute teacher and inspiring my students.

1) Planning lessons for a substitute is really hard for me! I stress about whether my directions are clear enough, if the students will have enough time or if there will be extra time, if the substitute will even read my plans, etc.

2) Inspiring my students. Math gets a bad rapport with many students long before they ever enter my classroom. Many students have already decided that math is too hard for them, that they'll always be poor students in math. And I so desperately want to show them that it doesn't have to be that way! I believe that all students can learn - more specifically, all students can learn math! But helping them believe that for themselves is something that I struggle with.

So when I found this video by Arthur Benjamin, I was really excited - Arthur is interactive, inspiring, and he loves math! What more could a math teacher ask for?! I hope you enjoy the video as much as I did.

While I was away with the 8th graders in D.C., I left this video along with a response sheet for my 7th grade PreAlgebra class and my Geometry classes. Here are a handful of responses from my student when asked about inspiration. Hopefully I can build on these!

• “The number patterns are really cool and how they build upon each other. This shows us how amazing and diverse everything is and how immaculate God is for creating this."

• “I am not only inspired by math, but also my teacher. Having a great teacher (Mrs. Gosnell) helps the students to learn more math. You rock!”

• “Doing math inspires me to think harder and inquire different angles and viewpoints of life’s many situations and decisions."

• “Math inspires me to learn the world around us. By learning new equations/problems in math, it inspires me o learn about problems in the world around us.”

• “Mrs. Gosnell is an inspiration to me. You can see clearly how much she loves math and wants to share her knowledge with us.”

• “Personally when complex concepts all of a sudden click, I find it really cool. Also how things become so complex is really neat.”

• “I love the patterns in math. Fibonacci numbers are a perfect example of this. Patterns are inspiring.”

• “Math poses a challenge that one must strive to overcome. It inspires one to think critically and creatively and find patterns between numbers.”

• “The challenge of going through the hardships of finding an answer.”
  

Becoming Anglican

When we first visited Christ The Redeemer Anglican Church (CTR), I remember telling Adam, "I don't know if I could do this every week." The service felt much like a Catholic service - Priests, vestments, kneeling, bells, etc. This type of worship was new to me. I was so worried about whether I was supposed to be kneeling or standing, speaking aloud or listening, so distracted by the "bells and smells" that I couldn't worship.

As the certificate above shows, I figured it out :) After that first service, we were invited to the church picnic, but we chose not to attend. Then Adam chatted with Father Tim (the head priest) one day on campus and we visited CTR again. We were then invited to Father Tim's home for a "Get-to-Know CTR" gathering. It was at this gathering that God first began to change my heart regarding the idea of attending Christ the Redeemer. I ended up in a discussion with a small group of women and as they talked, the conversation turned to CTR services. The phrase "You encounter God every week" stirred my heart and I found the idea of walking away from a conversation like that and NOT attending their church very difficult.

So we began attending. Adam was head over heels for the Anglican order of worship, but I found myself still hesitant. Although I learned quickly when to stand and kneel, speak aloud and listen, I still felt isolated from the richness of worship that I heard others speak of. It took a long time... But as time passed, I slowly began to understand and God continued the work of softening my heart toward the Anglicans. I learned how our process for receiving communion reflected the story of salvation. I began to appreciate saying the Nicene Creed every week, renewing our belief in God. I learned that the bells remind us of celebrating the resurrection. I began to appreciate the rich theology of work and calling. I learned that the asperging of water reminds us of our baptism. I finally began to worship well with the Anglicans.

So here we are! Today, Adam and I were confirmed. In short, confirmation is a laying on of hands, an ordination for the lay person. The bishop prayed for each of us and then for our marriage, commissioning us to do the work of the Lord in our every day lives. It was awesome! We are blessed to be a part of this church and blessed to be a part of the service of the Lord. Peace be with you.

Every Day Life: November 7, 2014

The alarm on my phone goes off at 5:13 a.m. I shut it off, knowing that another one will sound in seven minutes. The second alarm goes off at 5:20 a.m. I press snooze without really thinking about it. Another alarm sounds and I hit snooze again. I don't HAVE to be up right now... And it's Friday, so I can wear jeans anyways. Why the idea of wearing jeans is synonymous with getting ready in less time, I can't really explain. Finally, I'm up at 5:38 a.m.

For the next hour and twenty minutes, I shower and dress, pack my lunch (tuna, crackers, cheese, carrots w/ ranch, & a granola bar for snack), eat a bowl of cereal, and head out the door. Oh, I also move Adam's phone to beside the bed and check that he has an alarm set. He stayed up late the night before and left it in the living room.

On the way to work, I listen to K-Love. It takes me around 20 minutes to get to work in the mornings and I arrive at 7:25. At 7:35, I meet with several other upper school faculty members for morning prayer. I haven't been to morning prayer for one reason or another this week, so I make a point to go this morning. Homeroom begins at 7:55. It's amazing to me how awake and talkative 13-year-olds are before 8 a.m. The students comment that many of us are wearing the same t-shirt (We wear Spirit Wear every Friday). My colleague and I get distracted catching up with students, so we skip our usual devotional and he says a quick prayer over the students' day.

I teach Algebra 1 during first period today. My lesson feels disjointed. I find myself frustrated that students need help with an assignment. When students are almost finished, I realize that I've misread the question and given them poor directions. They were still able to practice finding the slope of a line, so I decide not to fix my misreading and try to move on to the next thing. We finish the lesson a smidge early and play a game called "Rule" for the last three or four minutes.

I have second period free and then teach different levels of Geometry during third and fourth period. My students tell me they don't like Geometry, but they like my class - I'll take that as a compliment :) They also like folding and cutting, so I try to trick them into learning as often as possible. One minute they're cutting up paper and the next minute, they prove that the interior angles of a triangle have a sum of 180 degrees. This is one thing I enjoy about teaching Geometry - it's easier to find hands-on things for my students to do.

I'll stop here for now because this post is becoming rather lengthy. Why do I tell you about my day in this much detail? Do you really care what I listen to on the radio every morning or when my Geometry classes meet on Friday? Maybe not, but this is normal life for me. This is the day in and day out. There are days (like Tuesday) when I allow my frustration from first period to carry into the rest of my day, when I come home questioning my career choice, when I'm emotionally vulnerable because all I can think about is my soul friend's new baby 1,000 miles away... But there are also days like November 7 that begin with prayer, days when my students recognize community because we're all wearing the same t-shirt, and when my frustration from first period is eclipsed by success a couple of periods later. Days like these are the days worth remembering.

Stop, Continue, Start: 2014-2015 School Year Goals

It's that time of year again! Teachers begin in-service on August 25th and the first day of school will be September 3rd. It's been a great Summer, but I'm excited to see my kids and to get back into a daily routine! I'm again using the "Stop, Continue, Start" method for thinking through my school year goals. (You can read last year's goals here.) One thing I love (and hate!) about teaching is that you will never "arrive." There is always room to grow! So here we go...

Stop

• Allowing my students to give less than their best - specifically regarding their academics and behavior in class.
• Working from home. Well... at least not as much!

Continue

• Writing "main idea notes" on the white board and practice problems on the Smart board. I started doing this at the very end of last year. My purpose is that I want students to know where to look for certain types of information. There are certain things that I expect them to write in their notes word-for-word, so I want these things on the white board so that they are visible throughout the entire lesson.
• Math Games/Activities ... I do my best to keep our lessons as interesting as possible! This might include doing math on note cards posted around the room, Vocabulary Spin game, Round Robin practice, Math Toss, etc.

Start

• Unit Planning ... I am a lesson-by-lesson girl right now, but it has come back to bite me more than once. I don't expect that I'll plan every lesson from a unit before it starts, but I want to do a better job of looking at the big picture before diving in.
• Focusing each prep period on ONE thing. I'm working on assigning each prep period a task. There will always be fires to put out throughout the day, but I'm hoping that I can manage my time better by having these goals in place.

My classroom will be ready on Monday (we had renters all Summer and they've cleaned our floors), so I'm excited to put it back together and start decorating!

Why I want to Be a Runner

Earlier this Summer my sister, Kayla, sent me a text. It read something like "Download the 'Get Running' app now! Start running with me." My response was along the lines of "Uhh... Have you met me?!" I have never been a runner... Ever. I never even ran the typical mile in my middle or high school years. But, alas, what's one to do when her sister (who is quite literally a thousand miles away) asks for a partner and encourager? Well, in my case, you download the app and start running of course! The app talks you through a Couch to 5K program - three workouts every week. There's a wonderful British woman who tells you when to warm up, run, walk, etc. She even tells you when the halfway point is so that you can turn around if necessary. And she's awesome! Did I mention she's British?! So we started off week 1 with eight runs - 1 minute a piece with walking in between each one. Now I've completed week 5 which ended this morning with a 20 minute run - no walking in between. I'm really excited as this was a huge step for me!

As I've been going through each week, I started thinking about whether I even wanted to run or not. There are other ways to exercise, so was this really how I wanted to spend my time? Here are the reasons that I think I want to be a runner...

1. I want to be in shape.
2. It's cheap! -> Until it gets cold, I can run outside with no cost. Score!
3. My muscle tone is improving.
4. I can spice it up. -> There are a TON of trails and paths around here. And although I run close to home most of the time, running is a sport that can have virtually any scenery.
5. I can run almost anywhere. -> Visiting family?  Weekend away? No problem. I can still run.
6. I want to run with others. -> I've typically wanted to hide when I thought someone might ask me to run with them! I have always been afraid that someone could figure out how weak I was (notice the past tense ;)).
7. I want to BE a RUNNER. -> I know that sounds silly, but there's a certain respect that I've had for runners. I'm sure that respect is partially due to the fact that I felt like I couldn't run, but even still. It's a reason for me.

Writing out this post and thinking through these reasons is positive motivation for me. I can think about these things when the workouts get tough or the couch threatens to pull me back. Adam and I have learned a lot over the past few months about how our bodies and minds work together - either for good or for evil - so I hope I'm putting that into practice by completing this post. Week 6, bring it on!

#summerloving

There are just over two weeks until teachers return to CCA, which means my Summer is almost over! I can hardly believe it! Adam encouraged me to take the Summer completely off (i.e. not to take a part time job), so here's what I've been up to...

• Boston Outings: One day we rented bikes to ride along the Charles river. Another day we rented bikes again and rode to the Arnold Arboretum and Forest Hills cemetery. Then last week we visited the Museum of Fine Arts (free on Wednesdays after 4 p.m. -> score!).

• Trips: We met our Gosnell family in IN/IL to see extended family over 4th of July weekend. I also traveled to TN to help throw one of my best friend's bridal shower. I'm thankful to have been able to see both families this Summer and I'm already looking forward to seeing everyone again at Christmas! (Also, I'll be back to TN in September for the WEDDING!)

• Crafting (all for school, haha): I recovered several canisters for storage, made a poster for birthdays, and I'm working on a door decoration. I'll probably take pictures of everything once I get my classroom set up!

• Running: Kayla asked me to start running "with" her, so we're doing the same program from afar :) It's the "Get Running" app (literally the only app I've ever paid for) which follows the Couch to 5K program. I've completed the first four weeks and week 5 begins today.

• School-related: During June, I attended a week-long math conference. And one week in July, I taught part of a Summer class for a few of our incoming 9th graders. I've also planned the first couple of days of school, updated most of my 10-month plans, and created my syllabi. I've also worked on some changes to my lesson plan template,  HW policy, and grading.

• Reading: I haven't done as much reading as I probably should have. I finished "The Picture of Dorian Gray," by Oscar Wilde today and I'm hoping to finish "Adopted for Life," by Russell Moore before school starts.

Overall, it's been a great Summer! When all my activities are listed like this it makes me feel like I've accomplished something :)

God Doesn't Need An "Out"

(Note: I had outlined this post during the Fall, but it never made it to the blog for one reason or another. I hesitated to share because it seems so late, but God deserves continual praise AND he's brought this lesson back to my mine recently. More on that part at a different time.)

Last August, I shared that God had provided a job for me at Covenant Christian Academy, but God taught me something as I thought back through the series of events that led to my job. During the months of April and May of 2013, Adam and I officially announced that we were moving to MA. I began praying and searching for a teaching job. I was told that obtaining a MA teaching license could take up to 38 weeks.... This was devastating to me. After finishing one year of teaching, I felt so ready for a second year! I couldn't (and still can't!) imagine doing anything else.

In June, I began praying and searching for ANY job. A position opened up in financial services at Gordon Conwell (G-C). So I applied and changed my prayer... I stopped praying for a teaching job and began praying for this job in financial services. My prayers went something like this: I know I can't teach, so at least give me this job on campus so that I can be close to home and meet people at the seminary. I tried to give God some sort of "out." If you can't/won't provide a teaching job, then given me this one and I'll still praise you for answering my prayers. Eek!

Well the position in financial services was a no-go and I continued looking at other jobs. My sweet friend, Kaitlin, told me, "I'm still praying that you'll find a teaching job." "Thanks, but it's pretty hopeless," I thought to myself.

Adam's admissions counselor at G-C suggested that I contact his friend who was a high school principal at CCA, saying "I don't think they have any openings, but it won't hurt for him to see your resume." Well at some point during the week or so before I e-mailed the principal, CCA lost a math teacher. The principal was quick to respond to my e-mail and asked me to come in for an interview that same week. I just knew that God was going to give me this job! And He did. Within 10 days of my first e-mail to CCA, they offered me the position and I accepted.

God is so good! I am so thankful that He chose to provide for us through a job that I love so much. In looking back, I am reminded that God doesn't need an "out." He doesn't need for me to change my prayer when it doesn't look like He's going to answer the way I wanted. Even if He had chosen to say "no" to my prayer for a teaching job! He deserves the glory in ALL answers. Part of the beauty of prayer is the opportunity to "work out my faith," to grow my trust in God's sovereignty. I didn't do that with this situation. I'm so thankful He chose to say "yes" anyways.

Jesus Above All

Several weeks ago, the women's Bible study that I am apart of here on campus studied John 5:1 - 17. John 5 recounts the story of a man who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years... Longer than I've been alive he had been lying on a mat. This man spent his days stretched out beside "the Sheep Gate a pool... called Bethesda," hoping and waiting for someone to put him inside while the water was stirred. But then came JESUS. Jesus enters the scene, asks the man if he wants to be healed, then says, "Get up, take up your bed, and walk." "And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and WALKED." He WALKED. After thirty-eight years, Jesus enters the scene and the man WALKS. After people passed him by over and over again, Jesus enters the scene and the man WALKS. Oh and did I mention this was the Sabbath? Sabbath or no Sabbath, Jesus enters the scene and the man WALKS.

Jesus is above all.

Currently

LISTENING ... Adam is doing the dishes. Both Adam and I have always had a dishwasher, so this part of seminary life has been quite an adjustment! It wasn't too bad during the Summer when we first moved here, but this semester particularly has been really busy for both of us, so washing dishes feels like one more thing on the to-do list that we never seem to have time for.

LOVING ... The fact that Spring break is only two weeks away.

THINKING ... About living so far away from family. We knew we would make sacrifices for Adam to attend seminary here, but it's still tough sometimes.

WANTING ... More time and more money. Maybe that sounds selfish, but it's true.

NEEDING ... (Is it cheating to repeat "more time and more money"?) I probably need to be working... Lesson plans are calling my name and I'm trying my best to ignore them.

PRAYING ... For my friend, Mandi; their baby is due a week from tomorrow!

Does Life Require "Busy"?

I constantly struggle to maintain a healthy balance between my home and work life. My mental and physical energies lean towards the work side 95% of the time... We're on "Winter break" this week (a perk of living in the North) and I'm struggling to relax. I have a hard time slowing down. My mental to-do list is never ending and I often feel guilty for "resting." So I'm re-evaluating, I guess. I'm trying to learn what it means to "rest." This post is really me processing my thoughts; bear with me and feel free to offer any advice you may have.

When I was in high school, I assumed that I was busy because I chose to be involved in so many different things - church youth events, vocal ensemble, piano lessons, school plays, etc. During my years at Ouachita, I was still busy - double major, marching band, dating Adam, assisting in youth ministry, etc. Then we experienced our first year of marriage which doubled as my first year of teaching, so I was busy yet again. And now we've moved to "the North," Adam's in grad school, I'm teaching, and I am STILL busy.

I am beginning to think that business is a choice and I don't want it anymore. I want to enjoy my twenties; I want to enjoy my husband; I want to enjoy my life without feeling like I'm drowning in it. Yes, my job requires A LOT of me - ask any teacher you know. But let's be real - everyone's job requires a lot of them. My nurse friend works 12-hour night shifts, three or four nights in a row. My stay-at-home mom friend is on-call 24 hours a day for their one year old (oh, and she's growing baby #2 as a side job). Another friend has a chronic illness that consistently drains her emotional, physical, and mental energies. Life requires A LOT.

But my question is: Does life require "busy"?

On My Mind...

(1) Sundays. Although we love our new church home, it's been a long time since I woke up on Sunday actually wanting to go to church. My weeks are long and I've been tutoring on Saturday mornings, so usually my first thought on Sunday is: "But I could sleep in..."

(2) Babies. I'm not ready to have a baby and that's okay. Yes, I'm only 23. Yes, there's plenty of time to think about kids. No, I shouldn't be worried about it. Yes, I'm enjoying the time alone with my husband. I know these things! But, unfortunately, it doesn't change the fact that I have to remind myself at least once a week.

(3) Student comments. CCA progress reports go out next week and each Middle School student receives a comment from each of their teachers. I appreciate the importance and impact these comments can have, but they can also be stressful. Kudos to our principal who is planning to read each one before they are sent. We're thankful for his support!

(4) Christmas... *Sigh*. Sure, I love the Christmas season. I love seeing the pretty lights and decorated trees. I love singing Christmas carols and celebrating the birth of Jesus. I'm looking forward to time away from work and traveling to see our family and friends. BUT. I am a terrible "gift giver." The idea of deciding on and buying gifts, wrapping them, and making sure they get to all the right people is very stressful to me.

(5) Friends and distance. We are so thankful for the friends God has already blessed us with here in MA. But we have many friends back in the South and it's hard to keep a strong relationship with all of them.

(6) Facebook. Why is it addicting? Why do I feel the urge to check it once, twice, even three times daily? I don't post very often. I haven't updated pictures recently. There's no one that I really uses Facebook to stay in constant contact with... So why the pull?

(7) Rest and hobbies. Currently my hobby is work or maybe a logic puzzle on my phone... Neither of which prove truly restful. I have a day off tomorrow and already I have a mental list of errands to run, laundry to wash, grading, etc, etc... But I know myself. If I don't get those things done, I'll sit around lazily and wish that I had the energy to go do them instead of taking the time to rest. It's a vicious cycle really... There has to be a better way.

This post evolved into a list of mostly negative feelings. I don't think that I write all of this in a spirit of complaining or whining - I simply wrote what came to mind. I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of good things going on in my life right now. I'll plan to write more on those things soon.

Early Twenties

I've decided that this is a strange stage of life. There are several reasons, but I've decided on two main categories. Being a 20-something is strange in the sense of relationships (with family/children as a sub-category) and it is strange regarding career paths or choices.

In regards to relationships: Many of my 20-something friends are not married and not dating. A handful are engaged or about to be. Then there's my category - Adam and I have been married for just over a year, together for nearly four years. Obviously there are subcategories within these - some friends are very happy where they are and some are anxiously waiting for their relationship status (pun intended) to change.

Sub-Category in regards to relationships: Of those who are married, a few already have kids. Kudos to the Chapmans, the Pools, and others who make it look so easy ;) The decision (I use the term loosely) regarding when to start a family is one that I (wrongly) assumed would come naturally. I realize that for some, this decision was made for them. We serve a sovereign God who holds the power to do such things and it's awesome! But for some of us, this decision can be daunting, emotional, etc. Not everything is black and white.

In regards to Career: We are all over the place in regards to career. Some of my friends are in masters programs while already working in their chosen fields. A few are in masters programs so that they can work in their field of choice. The rest of us may or may not have a masters in our future (personally, I'm still on the fence) and we may or may not be working in our field. A small number are still trying to figure out what the field is!

Me? I'm one of the lucky ones. I went to college with my mind made up to teach high school math. God completely turned my heart towards middle school during my last semester of school, but other than that I still wanted to be a math teacher! And here I am - 23 years old in my second year of teaching middle and high school level math. I love it and I thank God that He has given me the opportunity to do something that I love so much.

I realize that this is a random post. But Adam says that's why I'm blogging instead of writing a book! It's all fair game. God has put each of us in unique situations designed to make us more like Him and wherever you are (in whatever stage of life) you can be assured that this is part of His plan for you. That's what it means for Him to be sovereign.

Back to School: 2013-2014 School Year Goals

This is my attempt at goal setting for the new school year. I saw this form on another blog. You can see her version here: Sarah Educating.

Stop

• Second guessing myself. Especially during lesson planning, I wasted a lot of time flipping my decision form A to B back to A again! This year I'll try to just stick with something :)

• Stressing about "finishing the material" - my new school uses a Math Mastery program that I think will help me focus more on my students' understanding and less on "Oh my gosh, I have to finish chapter 3!"

Continue

• Loving students! I can't wait to meet "my kids" for this year!!!

• Bellwork. (My kids named this "Energizer Bunny Work" last year; I can't wait to see what this new group will name these assignments.) These assignments helped my routine tremendously. And this year, I plan to focus these assignments mostly on past concepts that students should have already mastered.

Start

• Math Notebooks - Most of my students had a notebook for notes and assignments, etc, but I never looked at them or held them accountable for it. I'm really excited to get more involved this year and to have students use them more actively during class!

• More consistent parent communication... Ideally, I'd like to e-mail the HW assignments out at the beginning of the week, so parents can help hold their students accountable. That's a perfect world though; we'll see how it pans out.

• Structuring my test writing process. Again, I think the Math Mastery program will help with this. They're fairly strict about what my tests should consist of.

Abba, please be with me and each of my students as well as all teachers and students this school year. Thank you for providing this position to me and gifting me with the ability to teach. May You be glorified every step of that way!

Our First Wedding Anniversary

One year ago, Adam and I experienced one of the best days of life. One year ago, our friends and family loved on us and supported us as we began a new stage of life. One year ago, Adam and I made a covenant with each other and with God to love and cherish each other 'til death do we part. One year ago, we said "I do." It's been an amazing year. I love you so much, Adam, and I pray for many more years together!!!



Adam and I spent yesterday in Boston proper. We had no schedule and no plan... just a short list of possibilities. The weather was pretty cloudy, so it was a cool day. We had such a great time! We drove in and parked at the Boston Common Garage which is located next to the Boston Public Garden. How cute are these "swan rides"?!

After seeing the Public Garden, we visited the Boston Public Library. It's HUGE and very beautiful. The John Hancock building is near the public library and it's also very impressive. There's also a large courtyard where we had lunch from a stand. I had a hot dog and Adam had "the true Boston experience" (according to our server) by eating a hot Italian sausage.

We then took the "T" to get to Harvard Square. The "T" is their Subway. They didn't ask me, but if they had I would have gently reminded them that the word "subway" begins with an "s"... just sayin ;) Adam did a wonderful job navigating us! The T was very busy and a little scary when it makes the screeching sounds. But it's relatively cheap and of course a great way to avoid driving in the city limits.

At Harvard Square, we visited the Curious George store and the Harvard bookstore. We also had ice cream at "J. P. Licks". (For the record, Curious George will be at the Curious George store next week. I wish we could take our nephew!)

I feel like I'm leaving things out, but this at least gives you a glimpse into our day! We also saw the U.S.S. Constitution museum, and the Constitution Marina (pictured below). We love being near the water and I especially enjoy seeing all the boats!

We took the picture below before having a bite from our wedding cake topper today. Let me just tell you, this poor cake survived for a whole year in our freezer... which included a two day trip in a cooler to Massachusetts. This cake was a trooper! But, alas, it's just a cake, people... It didn't taste very good! Haha. So we enjoyed the tradition, but chose not to indulge in very much of the cake ;)

Wishes

Following Rachel's lead, if I had a genie, these are my wishes...

1) To find a Summer sleep schedule that I won't feel guilty about.

2) To learn to relax without being completely lazy.

3) To have a job in South Hamilton.

Between Bitter and Sweet: Looking Back

Going back isn’t an option.
The past is set in stone.
Fear, at first, seems our only emotion,
As the chimes ring a new tone.

Hours that passed so slowly during their existence,
Seem like decades ago.
Moments came when I took a depression stance,
When change I would have chosen to forgo.

But I awake with renewed strength and understanding.
God was there all along.
Always comforting, always leading.
I know now where I truly belong.

The present, although shadowed at times, is beautiful.
His grace and perfect peace are daily constants.
I am satisfied and hopeful!
I leave my questions behind, trusting his guidance.

I don’t want to turn around,
I look now only to the future.
His love will abound,
And my faith will daily grow stronger.

I wrote this poem in 2009 and stumbled across it today. I started writing it after my first semester of college. The first semester of college was difficult for me. There were many nights spent crying myself to sleep and many days spent trying to figure out why in the world God would send me to a place that would make me so unhappy! The most important lesson that I learned through that time was this: Being unhappy does NOT mean that you are outside of God's will.

Those experiences grew me spiritually, emotionally, and physically. And as most of you know, I fell in love with where God had placed me. Ouachita will hold a piece of my heart forever. I cherish the memories I have and the friendships that grew there. I look back and I understand more fully God's timing and His perfect plan for my life - it's always different and always better than I could have ever imagined.

Currently

--Listening ... I found some old WOW CDs in my husband's collection, so they're in my car right now. I'm enjoying some old favorites and learning a few new songs as well!

--Loving ... Lazy Saturdays! I made breakfast this morning, did some laundry, calender-ed (yes, it's a verb now), and we've laid around. ALL day!!

--Thinking ... About our move to Gordon-Conwell. We're excited, but I can't believe it's less than two months away. It seems like so much time and yet not enough.

--Wanting ... Birthday presents 0:) I can't help it!

--Needing ... Well... I need to be grading and writing lesson plans, but I'm not. Other than that, I don't need a thing in the world! God is providing for our every need - as well as plenty that we don't need.

--Advice ... I don't have much advice to offer others, but I could use a bit of advice on surviving these last few weeks of school. My kids are going crazy and I fear that I'm right behind them!

The Gosnells Move to Boston: My Fears

June 1 is five weeks from today. This is our "leave Arkadelphia date." The plan is to spend time with each of our families throughout the month of June and then #theGosnellsepicmove2013 (thanks, Brittany!) will take place at the end of June or the first week in July. As we get closer, it's becoming more real, more exciting,  and definitely more scary!

I have so many ideas for my Math classroom. The end of the year brings a lot of reflection and many "Oh, I should have..." moments. It makes me excited for next year because I want an opportunity to implement my ideas and to start afresh having a full year behind me! My passion for teaching is stronger than ever, but my fear? What if I don't get a teaching job?

Our families have been incredibly supportive and we are so thankful. I am beginning to realize all that we may miss out on by living away from them. Jody, our only nephew, called me "Aunt Becca" last weekend... If you think I could have kept my heart from melting, you're crazy. This kid is precious. But he's going to grow up while we're away and I'm sorry that we'll miss it. In addition, each of our siblings are currently single. Are we going to miss out on "the dating stage" when they find someone they want to be with?

My best friends from college live in the Dallas area. Less than an hour away from each other. Even now I don't get to see them nearly as often as we feel necessary, but I know that those moments will be even farther between after I move. My best friends from high school live in the Memphis area. I expect that one will be engaged while we are away and how am I supposed to plan a bridal shower from Massachusetts?

**Sigh** Despite these fears, I have confidence that we are following God's leading through this. He has been faithful every step of the way. I trust that His faithfulness will continue and that the joy of obedience to Him will far outweigh the struggle.

Spring Break: A Daily Account

• Saturday, March 16 ... We left Arkadelphia around 8:30 and headed to Branson, MO where we met Adam's parents and brother. After lunch, the guys headed to laser-tag / go-karts, while the girls hit the  outlet mall! We attended the Sights & Sounds Theatre production of Joseph that evening. It was a wonderful show and I love seeing the Bible come alive!
• Sunday, March 17 ... A little more shopping and eating before we bid farewell to Adam's family. Adam and I attended the Dixie Stampede for dinner. Watching the horses was my favorite part! It made me feel like a little girl again. After dinner and the show, Adam and I visited an antique store and then went to Applebee's for drinks where we played Phase 10. It was a very simple way to end our evening, but it became one of the highlights of our trip.
• Monday, March 18 ... A short time in Branson that morning, a drive back to Arkadelphia, and a movie/pizza night :)
• Tuesday, March 19 ... Tuesday was a pretty laid back day. We cleaned our apartment, ran a few errands, and took a long walk.
• Wednesday, March 20 ... We left Arkadelphia just after 8 (we were very proud of ourselves!) and drove to Arlington, TX. We met up with our friends, Nathan and Meagan, who graciously hosted us! Nathan's pastor took the four of us to visit Dallas Theological Seminary that afternoon. The evening was spent talking and playing games. Such a fun time!
• Thursday, March 21 ... Nathan and Meagan took us to Mr. B's Burgers (voted best burgers in the world, by owner) for lunch. It was delicious! We played Euchre for most of the afternoon and then Adam and I headed back to Arkadelphia. I drove in Dallas traffic and didn't kill us (or anyone else!). On our way back, we met up with more sweet friends, Trevor and Marissa and Marissa's parents!
• Friday, March 22 ... The epitome of a lazy day. Very little productivity, lots of sleep, no showers, microwave meals, tv, reading, etc. It was fabulous!
• Saturday, March 23 ... Today we are continuing our laziness with less vigor. I have to finish preparing for school next week and we have to get rid of the new ant problem in our shower :/ We've also been invited for dinner at Kevin and Erin's place, so we're looking forward to that this evening!
• Sunday, March 24 ... Tomorrow we're planning to attend church and then prepare for the week to begin. We'll also attend church tomorrow night to begin Easter week!

Did you get a Spring Break? Did it include travel, friends, and laziness like ours did?!

When God Closes a Door...

We've all heard the expression, "When God closes a door, He opens a window." Well God closed a door for us last week and I am very impatiently waiting for the window...

I had so much confidence in that door. It brought me peace and joy. It brought direction and clarity, excitement and bravery. When we were staring at the open door, I felt close to God. It was easy to believe that God is faithful and that He would provide.

So our door is closed... And we wait... Again. Oh Father, teach me patience in the waiting. Revive my passion for You. Bring confidence to my fear and peace to my anxious thoughts. Mold my desires to be Your desires.