Joseph's Breastfeeding Story

Much like a birth story, the breastfeeding journey is different for everyone. This is my experience with Joseph. It's not meant to contain every detail and there's always more to say, but I hope that our experience can be encouraging in some way!

Joseph latched well after his birth, but this was short lived. After that first time, I remember placing him to my breast and he would just cry... It was almost like he'd worked himself up so much that we would have to calm him down and then try again to help him latch. The nurses at Beverly Hospital were very supportive; they were so patient and didn't flinch when we called them to ask for help. They showed me how to position my breast for him, how to use a nipple shield, how to keep him awake while feeding, etc.

One of the first things that surprised me about breastfeeding was how long it took! Every baby is different, but in the beginning, Joseph nursed for 30 minutes on each side! The nurses had told me that I should feed him every 2-3 hours, so when we (finally!) finished those early nursing sessions, I expected to have at least 2 hours to rest... This was not the case. Obviously, Joseph still needed to be cared for in other ways. But also the "2-3 hours" was start time to start time—meaning if we started a nursing session at 2pm, he might need (and often wanted :)) another session around 4pm. When he was taking an hour to nurse, this was particularly exhausting!

We had varying degrees of success moving forward. The nurses had given me the nipple shield, but it only helped sometimes and it often required an extra hand. (Sidenote: I have mixed feelings about the shield. I do think it helped in the beginning and we didn't end up having any problems taking it off, but we did worry Joseph would become dependent on it. On top of all of this, Joseph also tended to put his hands to his mouth when he was hungry! So here I was, holding him with one hand, trying to adjust the shield and position my breast with the other hand, and now I needed to move his hands to help him latch. Adam or my mom started moving his hands for me, which was great. But I remember being scared of being alone with him because I didn't have enough hands!

Nights were the hardest. You want someone to help. You want someone to share the burden, but God has designed this so that only you can provide this type of nourishment. Adam was (and is) very supportive. He got up every time and changed Joseph's diaper while I got ready to nurse. Even still, when he went back to bed it was just me and Joseph! I'll be honest, sometimes I resented when Joseph needed to eat. Sometimes I still do, but I think everyone works past this in their own way.

Then Joseph got thrush, an infection that can be passed back and forth between mom and baby through breastfeeding. We began sanitizing everything that went into Joseph's mouth, the two of us began medication, etc. Thankfully this was not overly painful for either of us, but it was uncomfortable and the whole ordeal was stressful on top of our latching struggles.

Fast forward a couple of weeks... Seemingly overnight, it just clicked. Joseph was latching without help, the thrush was healed, it just worked. Other than a few adjustments to address a weight gain issue, we've never looked back! I love this special time with my baby boy. His eyes looking up at me, his hand reaching to touch my face, these are moments that I won't get back and that I hope to remember forever. Our nursing sessions already look different than those early days. He is much more active and aware of his surroundings. Sitting still is not his favorite thing - even when it's time to eat :) Nevertheless, I cherish our time and I'm so glad God has allowed me to be on this journey with my baby.