It's easy to do. The snap judgment of the 30-second interaction you observe in the grocery store, the questions raised from a picture on Instagram, witnessing a parent do the "one thing you've sworn you'll NEVER do"... (Sidebar: You'll probably end up doing that thing.) We've all "mom-shamed" on some level.
But you know what? Mom-shaming stops with us.
And not just our criticizing each other. Mom-shaming stops when we stop mom-shaming ourselves. How many Facebook posts have you seen that include #dontjudgeme, #momfail, or "I feel like such a bad mom, but..."? How many of my posts, how many of yours, include phrases like these?
I remember when we first brought Joseph home. He had trouble latching to breastfeed for the first few weeks and there were times when we would both cry. I would say to him, "I'm so sorry, Joseph. Mommy's trying. We're both learning." As Joseph becomes more of a toddler, my tears are more from exasperation, but I often pray that God would help me know how to teach him. Mothering is hard work and one of the hardest parts is that these precious little humans don't come with manuals. I don't know how to make him understand that it's encouraged for him to throw a ball, but it's wrong to throw other toys. I worry that the grapes aren't cut small enough or that he's cold in the night. There's always something that we're learning and God's grace is abundant for these things.
So when did I stop allowing myself to learn? When did I stop appreciating God's grace and start shaming myself as if it were all up to me? We're not alone in our struggles. Allowing my child more TV time than I once intended doesn't mean I've failed. I'm not a bad mom because his pajamas didn't have footies on a cold night. There's always something that we're learning and God's grace is abundant for these things. I want this attitude every day. Sometimes I forget his hat and sometimes I accidentally knock him over when he's clinging to my leg, etc, etc. I'm not suggesting that we celebrate these moments, but they happen. And they're going to continue happening because we're both learning. This parent/child thing isn't easy, but we're all learning.
So when did I stop allowing myself to learn? When did I stop appreciating God's grace and start shaming myself as if it were all up to me? We're not alone in our struggles. Allowing my child more TV time than I once intended doesn't mean I've failed. I'm not a bad mom because his pajamas didn't have footies on a cold night. There's always something that we're learning and God's grace is abundant for these things. I want this attitude every day. Sometimes I forget his hat and sometimes I accidentally knock him over when he's clinging to my leg, etc, etc. I'm not suggesting that we celebrate these moments, but they happen. And they're going to continue happening because we're both learning. This parent/child thing isn't easy, but we're all learning.
Mom-shaming stops with me.
Beautiful and AMEN!!
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